Surrender: My One Little Word - List #1

Well, here is the newish-oldish blog being resurrected. 
 
List #1 for the 52 List project is a list of one.  For those of you who still participate in One Little Word, I have chosen mine for 2014.

Although, my life is full of blessings, it has been a hellish year.  Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my son's death.  I am so grateful that I got to hold him and see his precious face, but it is the most painful memory I have.  Yesterday, providence intervened and I got a package and letter from a friend.  It was actually the letter that she wrote when she heard of Luke's passing.  She held onto it for a year until she sent it, and it came on January 6th, the year anniversary.  It also came with a necklace with all my children's names on it.  I didn't cry; in fact, I just pushed it aside and tried to ignore it.  But today as I touch the necklace there is great joy and sorrow in seeing my four living children's names etched into the silver.  It reminds me that I have a great priviledge in parenting my children.

This year, I chose the word SURRENDER.  I want to surrender to the realities of my life.  I would love to be creative at night and stay up creating quilts and little crafty wonders, but after singing to Elmo radio for an hour to keep the tiny terrorist happy, I am not in the space to be creative.  I want to surrender to the Elmo radio, and 7th grade basketball games, and reading to the kids, and just taking and spare moment to be with my husband.  So I am surrendering some of my selfish pursuits this year to dedicate myself to my family.